Saying goodbye is never easy even if it is for the "Right" reasons

So Ladies and Gentlemen, in case you were not aware this Gentleman Traveller was recently involved with a very special someone. Yes for the first time in over a decade this Gentleman Traveller became involved in a relationship of sorts.

Until recently that is....which was no fault of my own or of hers, this was without a doubt the strangest break up you could imagine, because the very next day we were watching a movie together in my apartment eating Pizza and Haagen Dazs. Yes the things you do when you have broken up but not typically with the person you have broken up from...I would agree but it was nice I have to admit.

Now 2 weeks on I have to quote Byran Adams in is song "When You're Gone":

"Baby when you're gone I realise I am in love, things just feel so wrong baby when you're gone"

The old saying of you don't know what you've got until its gone rings true here, however the only difference is that she is not gone, she is just no longer mine, especially when one considers how truly amazing and special she is I guess that is the problem. We are still good friends, even though at the time and still to a degree, now that feels like getting the sliver medal in the Olympics after having run the Marathon and having led right up until the finish line.

At the start I was and still am convinced that I can do this having done something very similar in the past, with someone who for 9 years or so has been a dear and close friend of mine whom I also fell in love with. I also forgot at the time how hard that was on me emotionally and physically and what it took out of me to get to that place where I only saw her as a friend. Things like this will take time but I am strong enough to get there, one just has to believe that it is possible and actually want it to happen. This is the one thing that the heart doesn't want to....and the head only has so much power over our emotions and I am a Leo my heart is a stubborn organ...big hearted...TOO FUCKING RIGHT!!!

I have been through every scenario musically that I could possibly have been through, for the first few days / week I was listening to Phill Collins non-stop. Then towards the end it was Linkin Park (Numb and In The End) on repeat with a bit of Craig David - Walking Away, and even Celine Dion....only one track yes that legendary one - Its All Coming Back To Me Now.

Why the heart is so fucking confusing is BEYOND ME....from one extreme of soppy '80s Pop love songs....to full on Angry Rock. I mean WOW.... I had forgotten how fucked up falling in love makes us become, even someone like me who is fairly logical at the best of times.

But with this girl things are different I care deeply for her, and even though I hate to admit it as much as I will tell you that I would take her back in heartbeat. She is so special that I am happy this time to concede and to take the silver medal. As by keeping her as a friend I still win but I win forever, as we choose our friends.

I was lucky that she chose to date me and become my girlfriend in the first place. I am luckier still that she has chosen to keep me as a close and dear friend. Even though my heart isn't happy about it...for the moment at least...I am even though it might not seem like it.

My life will go on and my travels will continue with her as a dear and trusted friend what more could I ask for....